A Trip Through the Chunnel

Our close friend decided to celebrate his birthday in Las Vegas and selected Gordon Ramsay's Steak in the Paris Hotel and Casino as the location for his birthday dinner.  I was skeptical having eaten at Chef Ramsay's restaurant at the London Hotel in West Hollywood as the portions were freakishly small and after having spent $200 on dinner, I still needed to take my husband through the drive-thru in order for him to have a complete meal.  But, this was not our birthday dinner so we stayed quiet about our concerns.

We walked through the casino to find the unusual entrance to the restaurant.  It reminded us of a tunnel, but no one said anything to us as we entered.  We checked in and were asked to spend a few minutes in the bar while our table was set up.  When we were called we were brought back to the inside entrance of the restaurant and at the point our hostess explained that when we entered the restaurant that we left Paris via the chunnel and were now in England.  That's actually kind neat, but maybe that should have been explained when we first arrived in England and not minutes later as an after thought.

We were escorted through the main dining room heading towards the upstairs seating when our hostess stopped us and pointed to the ceiling fixture in the center of the room.  She then explained to us that the fixture represents Chef Ramsay's hand movements.  No explanation of what movement his hand is making, just his hand movements.  Took everything inside me to not giggle as the hostess was explaining this to me with a straight face.  This was only the beginning of Chef Ramsay's displays of arrogance.

Chef Ramsay's hand movements as a ceiling fixture

We were seated upstairs and were directed to a bi-fold on the table containing the Hell's Kitchen Limited Edition Tasting Menu.  If everyone at your table orders the tasting menu for $145 per person (and its an all or nothing order) then you get to take home the accompanying autographed photo of Chef Ramsay.  Arrogance display number 2.

We were then given our menus that were engraved with the same representation of Chef Ramsay's hand movements, along with a logo of Chef Ramsay holding two knives.  Arrogance display number 3.  God forbid you forget for even a moment whose restaurant you are in.

The Wheel of Meat (my name for it, not theirs) is then brought to the table and each cut is introduced and explained.  We are also told that the meat is hand selected by Pat LaFrieda of New York and dry aged for 28 days minimum in his Himalayan salt room.

Wheel of Meat

The bread plate is then brought to the table and it was difficult to not eat each kind of tasty bread, but alas, I had to share.

I chose the English Chowder as my starter.  It was very yummy and not terribly creamy, and I loved finding the citrus pearls that popped in my mouth.

English Chowder (smoked haddock, scallops, fingerling medallions, citrus pearls)

Everyone else at the table ordered the onion soup.  I was able to have a taste of it and while it was very flavorful, I actually found it to be too sweet.  And for those who don't know, Welsh rarebit is cheese sauce on toast and has nothing to do with rabbit.

British Ale Onion Soup (Boddington's Pub Ale, caramelized onion broth, Welsh rarebit)

I have been a fan of Beef Wellington ever since I was a teenager when it was served as the main course at a wedding.  I have since even made it twice for Christmas dinner, once using a filet loin and once as individual wellingtons using filet mignons.  It is not often on restaurant menus due to its complexity, and as this menu states, the length of time required for cooking.  But I felt tonight that my dinner dates could wait the 45 minutes it would take for my Wellington to be prepared.  I actually think in the long run that the extended wait was a blessing as it gave us time to digest our soups and the bread.  While the Wellington was prettier than any version I've prepared, I was actually disappointed in the taste as I found it to be bland.  I'm not certain if any pate was coated on the meat as is traditional.  It simply tasted like meat inside puff pastry and I like my recipe better.

Roasted Beef Wellington, glazed root vegetables, potato puree, red wine demi-glace

My dish came with its sides so I allowed everyone else at the table to decide the sides and I simply had a taste of each.  Both the potatoes and the mac & cheese were yummy, but I felt bad as everyone else was so focused on their steaks that we left most of the side dishes behind.

Fingerling Potatoes (parmesan, truffle) and Mac & Cheese (blue, cheddar, parmesan, truffle)

Admittedly I never had a taste of the asparagus, which is a shame as I love asparagus.

Grilled Asparagus (chanterelle relish, asparagus spears, aged sherry)

When we were shown the Wheel of Meat the server focused a great deal of time on the American Wagyu Rib Cap as the rib cap is rarely on restaurant menus.  The rib cap is also referred to as the tastiest part of the cow.  That was all the men needed to hear as both of them ordered it as their main course.  And while I was only allocated one bite, I must agree that it was yummy.

American Wagyu Rib Cap (beef marbling score of 9 or higher)

We did not order dessert that night as there was birthday cake waiting for us back at the hotel.  That said, we all left with our tummies filled to the brim - the complete opposite of my last Chef Ramsay experience.  I would strongly recommend Gordon Ramsay's Steak not only to any Celebrity Chef Foodie, but also to anyone who wants to enjoy a good steak while in Vegas.  It was a great experience and I'm proud to say that I was again able to withhold my giggling at the ceiling fixture when we were leaving the restaurant.

Alma

Bon Appetit Magazine named Alma the best new restaurant of the year in August.  Makes you wonder how they define year as they obviously don't use the Gregorian calendar.  But of course, once that happened, I had to make a reservation.  I decided that our dating anniversary, known by my husband as our "unniversary", would be the proper occasion for such a celebrated restaurant.

After riding the Metro we walked through some seedy parts of downtown Los Angeles before coming upon the "blink and you missed it" restaurant.  It doesn't look like much from the outside, and its sparsely decorated on the inside.  We were seated in our clear lucite chairs near the wine bar where there is shelving featuring cookbooks from presumably some of the chef's favorite chefs.

The menu is simple and looks like its printed on a small pad of yellow lined paper.  Drinks are limited to water, beer, wine, or seasonal soda.  No iced tea.  Our server expalins that the menu is broken into three sections: tiny, small, and medium and then advises us how many of each we should get.  She also tells us that the dishes will come out as prepared, so it'll be a surprise as to the order.  We decide to order two from each of the three sections.

My husband decided to try the seasonal soda as neither of us had ever had yam soda before.  We're not certain if the soda is made in house, or from a craft soda factory, as it was served already in the glass.  Upon first glance it looked like a mixed Thai iced tea with foam on top.  It was actually quite tasty, but I stuck to my water.

spiced yam soda

First dish served was the Seafood and Tofu Beignet.  Usually when I think of a beignet they are light and airy, but these were dense.  They were surprisingly spicy, but that's because we did not realize that yuzu kosho is a type of Japanese seasoning: a paste made from chili peppers, yuzu peel and salt, which is then allowed to ferment.  I just thought it was some sort of yuzu juice sauce.  All in all it was an interesting dish, but I'm not certain I would ever order it again.  Beneath each beignet was a small drop of citrus aioli, which was so small you barely even knew it was there and yet it was needed to enhance the dish.

seaweed & tofu beignet, yuzu kosho, lime

Next up was the housemade bread which tonight was rye and ale bread.  Being Jewish I have my own expectations of what a rye bread should taste like and this was nothing like it.  This was a hearty loaf that was complemented by the cultured butter, and the rye and ale complimented each other nicely.

housemade bread with cultured butter

Now, as you know, I love crab, so when we saw a crab dish it was automatically ordered.  What I appreciated about this dish was its simplicity.  This dish was about the crab and simple unadulterated taste of crab.  The citrus added the perfect touch of acid and brought out the flavor of crab. While not appealing to look at, the avocado smear was tasty.

dungeness crab, smoked avocado, citrus, fennel

The tartare looked nothing like a traditional beef tartare.  It was a deconstructed tartare made with rib eye and barely cooked egg yolk droplets.  All in all it was very tasty, but it was missing one key element: toast.  Tartare is traditionally served with some sort of food delivery system like toast, but this tartare could only be eaten with a fork which made it difficult to incorporate the egg.

beef tartare, tangerine, maitake, Flower Avenue egg

My main course was the Brussels sprouts.  It was surprisingly more filling than one would suspect.  The mushroom mousse smear tasted like a pate. It was obviously made with red wine and was a tad too salty.

mushroom, brussel sprout, apple, miso

My husband's main course was unsurprisingly the 60 day dry aged rib eye which should have been served with one more slice of beef.  We were never quite certain what the green smear was as it didn't really have much flavor at all.  The server recommended that we order it medium rare, and that was definitely the right call.  While enjoyable, we both felt that the alfalfa sprouts were an odd accompaniment for the steak.

dry-aged rib eye, carrot, wild mushroom, grass

Having never had sunchoke before, we had to have the sunchoke split for dessert which had like six elements to the dish.  The candied sunchokes were just eh.  The applewood ice cream was good. The marshmallow whose specific ingredients I can't recall was yummy, as was the hay ash meringue.  The whipped cream was surprising as it had little to no sugar.  I could have eaten the meringue and the ice cream just as its own dish and been quite happy.

sunchoke split

Alma is falling under two current trends in the culinary world: small plates and dishes that spotlight the food.  Each dish you could truly make out the main dish as it was never overdressed with any other flavors.  That said, I love flavorful food.  I'm glad I got to experience Alma, but to me it was just okay and not worth the walk through the scary neighborhood.

Not to be Confused With Your Grandmother's Kugel

As already established, we watch a lot of cooking shows on television.  This past summer we watched Top Chef Masters, which I definitely prefer to the traditional Top Chef as the chefs have more fun as their prize goes solely to charity.  This season one of the Masters was chef Sang Yoon known in Los Angeles for his burger destination Father's Office, and the neighboring upper-scale Lukshon.  After weeks of watching Sang cook we knew a trip to Lukshon was in order.  And trust me, we will hit up Father's Office soon enough!

Someone actually asked me where I traveled this past weekend to try food, and I responded "Does Culver City count?"  At the old Helms Bakery location is where Sang's restaurants are located.  We were seated outside on the heated patio.  The overhead heat lamps were so strong that my cushioned bench was nice and toasty.  Our waitress greeted us and told us that the restaurant was modern Southeast Asian and that the dishes are small and are meant to be shared.  She also offered us either flat or sparkling water, both of which are complimentary.  Complimentary sparkling water?!  That's unheard of!  Too bad I prefer flat.

Our first dish was the Hawaiian butterfish which was served sashimi style, nice and cold with yummy salsa. Okay, so the "salsa" is nahm jim, which according to Wikipedia is Thai for "dipping sauce". It can refer to a wide variety of dipping sauces in Thai cuisine, with many of them being a combination of salty, sweet, spicy and sour.  And rau ram is a Vietnamese coriander which I'm not sure how was presented on the plate.  The fish was tender even though it is a meatier fish and the nahm jim complimented it perfectly and was not even the slighted bit spicy.  This was the perfect way to start our meal.

Hawaiian Butterfish (pickled watermelon radish, daikon, nahm jim, rau ram)

Next up came the crab fritter because, well, I love crab.  This was also the beginning of servings that are not easily divisible amongst any size party aside those that are factors of three.  The fritters are near impossible to pick up with chop sticks due to their odd shape. And then once you take one bite they are impossible to hold onto with anything other than your fingers. That said, they are yummy. Nice and crispy on the outside, soft and crabby on the inside. The chili jam that it is served with is tasty, but not spicy, and a great compliment to the fritter.

Crab Fritter (red crab, Singapore style chili jam)

Admittedly this dish was not at all what I was expecting.  While very yummy (especially the perfectly deep fried pork belly) it was difficult to eat due to the combination of glass noodles and sauce.  I had to serve, or at least try to seve, the noodles and sauce onto my plate without splashing myself and everything around me.  This was definitely a dish that was difficult to share due to how hard it was to grab anything other than the clams and the pork belly.  One more note on the pork belly, it was perfectly crispy on the outside and tender in the center, and surprisingly not too fatty.

Manila Clams (glass noodles, pork belly, cloud ear, hijiki, thai basil)

For our vegetable we decided to go with the Chinese black mushrooms.  As soon as they were delivered to the table we both looked at each other and exclaimed, "Smells right!"  The mushrooms are cooked and prepared Szechuan style with the right amount of heat that does build, so be careful.  I really enjoyed the lap cheong (Chinese sausage) which was dispersed as thin slices throughout the dish and the mustard greens added just the right amount of crunch.

Chinese Black Mushrooms (maitake, woodear, shitake, mustard greens, lap cheong)

Originally I only wanted the crab fried rice to feed my crab craving, but my husband suggested the fritters.  The dish is served with individual rice bowls that are served warm for you to dish your serving(s) into.  I liked that this dish was also served with teaspoons to make the rice eating easier as with this not being sticky rice the use of chopsticks exclusively would have been disastrous.  You could easily see the crab shavings when looking down at the dish which is always a positive sign.  Unlike most fried rices, this dish had a subtle flavor that was accented with serrano chiles to provide just a little bit of heat without overpowering the dish.

Crab Fried Rice (blue crab, jasmine rice, egg, pea tendrils, serrano chile)

I think Kurobuta pork might just be my favorite type of pork.  What I liked best about these ribs is that they were tender, but didn't fall off the bone.  The bbq sauce is dark in both color and flavor with a slight bitterness from the chicory coffee.  Absolutely delicious.

Kurobata Pork Ribs (spicy chicory coffee bbq sauce)

After we were done with our ribs a bus boy came by with a small plate that looked like it had two large Life Savers on it with the L from the Lukshon logo imprinted on them.  I assumed it was for my breath after the ribs, but instead he poured hot water over the discs and they grew into washcloths for our hands.

Washcloths, post water pouring

My biggest complaint with the dinner service was that at no time during the serving of the six dishes did they ever change our plates.  So while my plate was covered with sauce from Manila clams, I added to that the sauce from the mushrooms and then the ribs.  That said, it wasn't the end of the world, but merely an observation especially when compared to other restaurants that also serve small plates family style.  It should also be noted that this was a meal that required the use of a napkin, and I'm not just referring to the ribs dish.  Each course involved getting so into the food that I found myself repeatedly wiping my mouth and my hands.

There were three main desserts offered on the dessert menu, along with the basic ice cream with topping, and they were out of one of them.  I'm still trying to understand how they would be out of one of the desserts by the 7pm seating.  So we decided to go with the barley pudding, largely because the other dish was chocolate and my husband doesn't like chocolate.  The pudding itself had a subtle flavor which was nicely complimented by the very-banana sorbet, which seemed more like an ice cream or gelato.  The coffee streusel added the needed crunch, which made the nasty puffed barley superfluous.  The combination of the coffee streusel and the banana sorbet was a perfect pairing, and who can complain about caramelized bananas.

Barley Pudding (coffee streusel, caramelized banana, mandarin, banana sorbet, puffed barley)

When our dessert was complete, and just before we were presented with the bill, we were given a complimentary dessert of small bites of palm sugar butterscotch brownie and raspberry pate de fruits.  Even my chocolate-hating husband cried out "Oh it's good!" when he bit into the brownie.  And the pate de fruits was sweet and slightly chewy jellied raspberry preserves.  The perfect caps to the meal.

Palm sugar butterscotch brownie and Raspberry pate de fruits

One nice touch of the meal was that our server swiped my credit card right at the table.  This is actually something that is done in Europe to help minimize fraud as the diner has their eyes on their credit card the entire time.  The only suggestion I would make would be to give the servers portable printers as well as it seemed awkward when she stepped away to collect our credit card receipt.

Every dish from our meal was delicious.  And the nicest part was that they were all reasonably priced allowing people from all walks of life the opportunity to enjoy them.  That said, you'll be sitting with industry-types as the restaurant is in the neighborhood of the Sony and Fox studios, but at least its entertaining conversations to overhear.

Bibim-YUM!

I love Korean food.  I grew up with Korean food as our neighbors were Korean.  And it saddens me that Korean food is not nearly as popular or as accessible as it should be.  But there are oftentimes when I just crave it.  So I used Yelp to try and find the closest quality Korean restaurant near my home one Saturday and found myself at the Greenland Market Shopping Center in Van Nuys.  There are many restaurants there, but the one stuck in the corner with the sign with two Korean letters and the word Evergreen is the one to choose.  In Korean the restaurant is called Cho Eun 조은, but it also goes by its English name, Evergreen.

You know how you can tell if you picked the right ethnic restaurant?  Look at the customers and if they are of the same ethnicity, then you picked correctly.  The restaurant isn't fancy, but I enjoy that aspect as it minimizes the "stranger in a strange land" experience since the restaurant is a true Korean restaurant owned by Koreans and serving food to Koreans, and not a franchise operated by someone whose family came over on the Mayflower.

As is traditional in any Korean restaurant, once you are seated and order food the servers immediately come out with a tray full of side dishes to nosh on while you wait for your meal, or to complement your meal.  In Korean its called banchan.  Banchan varies from restaurant to restaurant and probably even from day to day, but it almost always includes at least one form of kimchi (traditionally fermented cabbage in chilis).  It also often includes some form of bland soup, which I sometimes appreciate depending mostly on the weather outside.

Banchan (side dishes, including kimchi, bean sprouts, among others)

On this particular day I was craving glass noodles, or transparent noodles, also known as jap chae.  Jap chae is a Korean dish made from sweet potato noodles, stir fried in sesame oil with various vegetables, sometimes served with beef, and flavored with soy sauce, and sweetened with sugar.  I found Cho Eun's glass noodles a little on the sweet side, but it was still delicious and hit the spot.

Transparent noodles with vegetables

It might seem odd that I'm making a point of discussing the rice and even showing a picture of it, but because it wasn't the traditional white or brown, it deserves mentioning.  I'm not sure what gave the rice its purplish hue, but it certainly was tasty.

Rice

BBQ spicy pork is one of my favorite Korean dishes.  At Cho Eun its served sizzling hot like Korean fajitas on top of onions on a hot iron pan shaped like a cow.  Shaped like a cow?  Yup, shaped like a cow.  Well, its definitely a statement to serve hot pork "inside" a cow.  When we ordered two servings for lunch (one for each of us) our server made a point to state that they are large servings as if to change our minds, but to me it just meant "Yay!  More leftovers!"  And so I got to satisfy my Korean cravings for a few more days.

BBQ Pork in Spicy Sauce (marinated in special soy sauce and served in a sizzling hot pan)

If you want traditional Korean food that actual Koreans eat, then I highly recommend Cho Eun.  Its a friendly simple atmosphere with an easy to decipher menu.  Be careful not to be lured in by the fancy signage of the all you can eat Korean barbecue in the same shopping center and find the simple sign in the corner.  You'll be glad you did.

Mac and Cheese, Please

I can't recall how I learned about Elbows Mac n' Cheese, but when I did, I couldn't wait for the opportunity to try it out.  I mean, an entire restaurant dedicated to macaroni and cheese, its got to be good.  But the restaurant is in Cerritos which is closer to Disneyland then it is Los Angeles, so it wasn't somewhere that we could go to easily.  And then Alton Brown came to town.  If you didn't know, Food Network personality and host of Iron Chef America Alton Brown is doing a national tour and his Los Angeles stop was in Cerritos.  Hooray!  Dinner at Elbows is in order.

Before we headed south I did do a small amount of research on the restaurant; well, at least enough to determine that I didn't need a reservation and that it was casual dining.  What I didn't realize until we arrived was that the restaurant was more of a fast food establishment like a Panda Express or a Baja Fresh, then it was a traditional casual dining restaurant à la Claim Jumper or TGI Fridays.

We approached the counter and perused the menu above the ordering station.  It should be noted that the posted menu varied from the paper menu that they had available for you to take home.  I also didn't notice the menu addendum on the side wall that offered up combo options and a make-your-own mac n' cheese option.  So if I could make one suggestion to them it would be to shore up the menu so that its clear and concise to those who are new to their establishment.

I saw the green bean fries and turned to my husband to inform him we would be ordering them.  When they arrived they looked like they had come directly out of a frozen package and into the fryer.  They tasted like it too.  They had so much breading that it was impossible to taste the actual green beans.  And the breading itself didn't have much flavor, so it was necessary to eat them with the two sauces they were served with, but that were never described.  Presumably the sauces were ranch dressing and cheese sauce, but the ranch was from a bottle and the cheese sauce quickly hardened and even it was lacking flavor.  We didn't even eat half of the green bean fries as they were just a waste.

Green Bean Fries (seasoned and battered crunchy green beans)

I ordered the lobster mac, hoping it would be oodles and oodles of yumminess.  It wasn't.  First it was a game of Find the Lobster.  And then once you found the lobster, you couldn't really taste it as it was overpowered by the cheese sauce.  I don't know if it was the asiago or the garlic, but the sauce was so intense in flavor that even if I was hungry enough there would be no way that I could finish the dish.  It was just too one note and that one note was too strong.  I was happy every time I found a piece of asparagus as it broke up the flavor palate.  In the end I just gave up eating the mac n' cheese and searched for the remaining lobster and asparagus.  The dish was served with two tiny pieces of garlic bread, that while tasty, needed to be toasted a little longer.

Lobster Mac (real lobster and fresh asparagus in a rich Wisconsin Asiago and Parmesan cheese sauce)

My husband ordered the jalapeño mac which I was a little jealous of.  Actually when I saw that it resembled traditional mac and cheese I regretted not ordering the Elbows Classic.  My husband took one bite and exclaimed that it was very creamy.  I did get the opportunity to take one bite and it was a lot better than my dish, but I didn't want to commit to that much jalapeño flavor.

Jalapeño Mac (spicy jalapeño and Wisconsin cheddar cheese topped with jalapeño slices and fresh tortilla chips)

Overall I would say the dinner was a disappointment and not worth another trip, even if we did find ourselves in Cerritos in the future.  One positive I will say is that I liked that the mac and cheese was served in individual baking dishes that would be easy to take home as leftovers and reheat.  That's it.

Some Privacy Is In Order

I had an event to go to in Hollywood on Saturday night, so I used my favorite Open Table app to find a restaurant within walking distance of the Dolby Theatre.  I came across Public Kitchen & Bar which is located in the famous Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel and thought that that for sure must be the place we should go.  Boy was I wrong.

After going down the wrong street due to a sign on the building that read "Public Kitchen & Bar" with an arrow pointing that direction, we arrived a few minutes after our scheduled 6pm reservation. We checked in and were seated by the hostess who spent an inordinate amount of time organizing the appetizer plates with the napkin-wrapped silverware as our place settings before we could take our seats.  Then she gave us our menus, poured water in our glasses, and returned to the hostess stand.  And there we sat for ten minutes in the half-back booth before anyone paid us any attention again.

During our wait we not only decided what we wanted from the menu, but started deciding what other restaurants we could go to instead.  The waiter finally arrived and he seemed to be a novice.  No, novice is not the right word.  He seemed like a time traveler who suddenly appeared and was doing the waiter job because it was a way to fit it.  I'm not sure if he was from Journeyman or Quantum Leap, but he definitely is not from this time.  That said, we were in Hollywood.  We ordered our dishes and hoped for the best.

A few minutes later our appetizer appeared.  It seemed unusual that Brussels sprouts would be listed as an appetizer, but we went for it as (A) we like Brussels sprouts, and (B) it could count as our vegetable for the evening.  Forgive me for the pictures below as I forgot to take a picture before I served myself.  So instead there are pictures of my plate and the serving dish after I took my helping.  You'll notice that the creme fraiche is oddly placed inside the serving dish, and yet strangely that is appropriate as we still can't figure out why the Brussels sprouts were served with creme fraiche.  This was an interesting preparation of Brussels sprouts as the kitchen took the time to delicately remove each leaf instead of serving the vegetable whole, chopped, or shredded, as is traditional.  In fact, the dish seemed to be the restaurant's take on kale chips replacing the kale with Brussels sprouts and adding creme fraiche for absolutely no discernible reason.  The appetizer was quite tasty, though a tad sweet, likely from what appeared to be balsamic vinegar at the bottom of my dish.  Not my favorite preparation for Brussels sprouts (http://count4food.blogspot.com/2013/09/another-night-another-meal.html), but it was okay.

Brussels Sprouts (pistachio, herb, creme fraiche)

Serving dish, post serving

Now I'm used to waiting for my food to fired up once the appetizer is completed.  And since we both ordered the sauteed scallops, that meant our entrees should have been served to us within five minutes of the appetizer dishes being bused away.  No such luck.  After twenty-five long minutes spent analyzing just how extremely loud the restaurant was and how inhibitive it was to being able to have any form of conversation with your dining partner, our server finally arrived to tell us our entree would be served in four minutes.  Yes, four minutes.  Not five.  Four.  And how do I know for sure it would be four minutes?  Because he actually held up his hand with his thumb folded down to show me.  Oy.

Except it wasn't four minutes - it was more like ten minutes.  So when our entrees were served and our waiter appeared moments later to ask if everything was okay, I asked for the check.  I mean, I had a show to go to and if it takes thirty-five minutes to cook scallops, how long would it take to process a credit card transaction?  Mind you, never once was an apology made or an explanation given.

We each looked at our dishes and laughed to ourselves.  Was this really an entree?  Two scallops (and for anyone who watches Chopped! you know that two scallops is an appetizer serving and not an entree), two tiny clams, two lardons, one potato (despite the plural in the description) and one tiny piece of carrot that I didn't realize was a carrot until much later.  Oh, and let me not forget the three tablespoons of clam chowder.  That might not be accurate - it was possibly only two tablespoons.  Before we dived in (can you actually say "dive in" with so little food?) we joked about where we would go for Second Dinner as this certainly would not sustain us, but we definitely were not ordering anything else from this establishment.

The meal strategizing stopped and we dove in, no snorkel equipment needed.  The scallops were tasty and cooked perfectly.  The bacon was smoky, which my husband liked, but I didn't.  That's right!  You heard it here first!  Bacon that I did not like.  The clams were so tiny they were barely noticeable and I'm not sure why I bothered to use my knife with either the potato or the carrot, but maybe i did so just to make them last.  And then thankfully we were given a soup spoon to spoon up our heaping helpings of clam chowder.

Sauteed Scallops (clam chowder, braised bacon, leeks, potatoes, carrot)

I signed the check while finishing my slurping and out of the restaurant we quickly went as I didn't want to spend one more moment there.  I would not recommend this place to anyone.  The food was okay, but not worth the money and the service was terrible.  And maybe its just me, but when I go out to eat with someone, I like to be able to hear what they say.  But thankfully I had my phone to entertain me.

I left my Ferrari at home

I've been hearing for months (quite possibly since January when it opened) about Hinoki & The Bird.  NPH tweeted about it.  Bon Appetit Magazine named it one of the 50 best new restaurants in the US.  And recently during LA's Food & Wine Festival when asked what was his favorite restaurant in Los Angeles, Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto refused to name a favorite as he has too many friends, but mentioned Hinoki.  So a night with The Bird was in order.

Their online reservations are through Urban Spoon and not my typical Open Table so when my husband asked what the dress code was I deferred to Yelp which said it was "dressy."  Yelp lied.  If the servers are wearing chambray shirts, rolled up jeans and Converse Chuck Taylors, and the chefs are wearing slate blue henleys, the restaurant is not "dressy."  I wouldn't say its casual either as you will be hobnobbing with LA's self-professed finest, so wear nice jeans and a nice shirt for guys, and heck, even for ladies.  Its not your clothes that will make you stand out - its your car.  Upon arriving at the restaurant there was a bright red Ferrari waiting to parking, and when we were waiting at the valet stand for our car it was an endless parade of BMWs, Porsches, Land Rovers, Range Rovers, and so on.  But personally I think the valet enjoyed driving my sporty Volkswagen.

We were seating outside on their spacious patio and I immediately starting looking up to see if they had a heating system installed in the rafters, and they do not.  This left me wondering how the restaurant will operate in the winter when most of its seating is outside.  One nice feature of the patio is the retractable awning which opened up as we were dining allowing us to "dine under the stars."  Though I have a feeling there were a few stars in the restaurant with us.  If for nothing else, I saw Meathead (aka Rob Reiner) at the valet.

Retractable patio awning

The menu is similar to the latest trend of small dishes, but they have small, medium and large.  Our server's advice was to get two or three small, maybe one medium, and then for us to each pick an entree and then share sides.  We decided to go with three smalls, two mediums, and one large with two sides.

First up was the marinated tuna which we were told was served sashimi style and is marinated in ginger and something else for about an hour.  That said, the tuna did not have much flavor and was overpowered by the accompanying items on the plate.  A disappointing way to start the meal.



marinated tuna, lemongrass salad

 

Next up was their famous lobster roll.  The exploding with lobster roll is server in a charcoal-enriched brioche bun.  The charcoal has little to no impact on the flavor, but makes the color of the roll unique.  Full of flavor, little to no mayo, bursting with lobster.  Looks like we're heading in the right direction.
 

lobster roll, green curry, thai basil

I won't deny it - I love crab.  I love crab more than I love bacon.  So whenever I see a crab dish, I order it.  And this crab dish was fantastic.  The crab was juicy and full of flavor, with mild spice, atop a nice crunchy toast.  Can I have three more please?
 

chili crab toast, spicy cucumber, coriander

Now it was time for the namesake dish.  Hinoki is a prized wood in Japan from a type of a cypress. The wood of this tree is nicely lemon-like scented and distinguished by its light color and straight grain. In order for the cod to absorb the scent of the hinoki, a sliver of wood is served atop of the dish smoking from a recent fire that was just put out.  Its a beautiful presentation and who doesn't love their meal being served on fire.  Once you put out the smoke, you get to enjoy the subtle flavor of the cod that has just the right amount of fat to keep it tender and juicy.  I personally found the sweet potato to be rather bland (though, see my thought on the roasted yam later), and was not a fan of the mushroom it was served with.  But the cod.....heaven.

Oh, and P.S., added bonus: during breaks between courses you can stick your hinoki into the votives on the table and enjoy more of the sweet smoke.  Our server told us this was a common occurrence.
 

hinoki scented black cod, sweet potato, pistachio

This next dish can only be described in one simple phrase: heaven on earth.  Now yes, I love pork.  And yes, I love pork belly.  But this, this is something completely different.  I will no longer be able to view any other pork belly the same way.  All other pork bellies will be compared to this.  This was so good that I started to cut it into small bites that I chewed as slowly as possibly to enjoy every scrumptious bite.  The greens are a waste of space on the plate, as are the radishes and sesame brittle served on top, and the sauce on the plate is bitter.  But the pork I will dream about for years to come.
 

caramel braised kurobuta pork belly, radish, mustard greens

 

My favorite cuts of beef are skirt steak and hanger steak, so we obviously had to order the skirt steak and I have to say, I was disappointed.  Now true, being served after the pork belly was an injustice to the steak, but even if I hadn't just had heaven on earth I think I still would have found the steak to just be, in a word, Eh.

miso marinated skirt steak

So its a good thing that we ordered the roasted Japanese yam. The texture was gummy, but in a good way, with a slight sweetness. It was served in a Japanese take of a traditional American style with lardons that better resembled thick bacon bits and crème fraiche instead of sour cream.  It also had julienned slices of a mild chili on top.  To me, the toppings were unnecessary as the yam could stand on its own.  And the roasting made a perfect bark of the skin that wasn't too hard to cut through, but gave the yam a campfire taste.
 

roasted yam, crème fraiche, lardon

As for the mushrooms, I found them chewy and not very good, but my husband enjoyed them.  It was served with a yuzu koshu which is paste made from chili peppers, yuzu peel, and salt, which is then allowed to ferment.   It had a very strong flavor and reminded me of a mild wasabi both in color and taste.
 

braised shitake mushroom, yuzu koshu

When our entrées were complete we were greeted by the manager, Nick.  Normally I wouldn't point this out as I often find the manager stopping by to be an unnecessary disruption, but Nick handled it differently from any other restaurant manager I have seen.  Nick approached us and asked us if we had any favorite dishes, which got us talking about the pork belly and he told us that the chef orders a special cut that has less fat, but more flavor.  Since we had been seated next to the pastry kitchen we had watched desserts being assembled all night and he asked us which appealed to us.  With that he was able to explain why the cotton cheesecake was called just that (whipped egg whites folded in in a traditional Japanese style giving it more of a texture of a sponge cake but still with the cream cheese flavor).  Only once we decided on our dessert and he said he would place it for us did he then introduce himself and offer to be of any other assistance.  Not a disruption at all, and quite a pleasure.  In fact, Nick made sure to deliver the cheesecake to our table himself. 

As I said, we had been watching the desserts being assembled all night, so we were anxious to find out what made up every little bobble on the plate.  The cheesecake was exactly as Nick had described, and it was covered with a crumble that I'm assuming was intended to resemble a graham cracker crust.  It was served with fresh strawberries and rhubarb, and two pieces of thinly-sliced dried rhubarb which I wish I could buy in bulk.  There were three dollops of raspberry cream and a dome of a raspberry mouse.  But the strawberry Greek yogurt ice cream was quite simply the icing on the cake. 

cotton cheesecake, rhubarb, raspberry cream, strawberry yogurt ice cream

All in all the meal was a good experience.  A couple of misfires, but also some dishes that were some of the most amazing food I have ever had.  We will likely go back again as the pork belly is calling to both of us, but probably not for a while as too many other restaurants are calling for our attention.  Of course next time I might arrive in our Toyota just to really mess with all of the socialites.

Burgers, baby!

Michael Symon's last restaurant in Cleveland is a chain of casual dining restaurants specializing in burgers.  Most of the locations are in the suburbs of Cleveland, but there is one location in downtown Cleveland in the food court of the Horseshoe Casino.  I've heard that the menu is limited, but I didn't notice that as there were many options to choose from.  The downside of this location is that to enter the casino your bags are searched and you must prove that you are of age to gamble, so I'm not sure how you would be able to enjoy the food court if you're traveling with children.

In looking over the menu it was hard to decide which burger to choose, so I decided to go with the signature Lola Burger.  What's nice about the restaurant is that you can make any burger a turkey burger for an extra dollar which was great for me as I don't eat ground beef.  That said, this was the best turkey burger I have ever had as the patty alone was full of flavor and not bland as ground turkey is known to be.  The moment I bit into the burger the yolk of the egg broke and spread its yummy goo all over.  This was quite the filling burger and I should have probably only eaten half, but I didn't want to miss one decadent bite.

Lola Burger (burger with sunny side up egg, bacon, pickled red onions, cheddar cheese)

My husband, on the other hand, ordered the less traditional Kojak Burger topped with gyro meat and tzatziki.  I didn't try it as he went for the traditional ground beef option, but he told me it was amazing.  If I recall correctly there was an Mmmmm that emitted from his mouth as he chewed his first bite.

Kojak Burger (burger with gyro meat, tzatziki sauce, lettuce, tomato, onion, feta chees)

One order of Lola Fries (just like how they taste at Lola's) is more than enough for two people.  In fact, with us each eating our burgers in their entirety and sharing a milk shake, we couldn't finish the fries.

Drinks and an order of Lola Fries

We ordered the vanilla bean apple pie bacon shake because, where else are you going to get a milkshake made with apple pie and bacon?!  The shake is so thick that its served with a wide straw traditionally used for boba drinks.  The wide straw is also needed with this particular shake so that the actual bacon bits don't get lodged in the straw.  That's right - the shake isn't flavored with a bacon syrup, but rather with actual chunks of bacon.  Chef Symon, when are you expanding into California?  Of course as I type that, I think about my expanding waistline as a result of this trip and Chef Symon.

Vanilla Bean Apple Pie Bacon Bad A** Shake

I would highly recommend seeking out a B Spot Burger location if you're in the Cleveland area.  Heck, I would seek out any of Chef Symon's restaurants and am looking forward to our trip to Michigan next June for what will be labeled as a family wedding, but will really be an opportunity to try out his steak restaurant Roast.